Not Alone. Just By Myself.

Why “Just By Myself” is the New Standard for Women Travellers Over 50

Stepping into the restaurant and glancing around at the team of greeters by the door, the one closest stepped forward and asked, “Are you alone?” — peering over my shoulder as he did.

I thought about it for just a moment, looked him in the eye and said, “No. Just by myself.”

His puzzled expression was lost in translation. I smiled softly and tried again. “Okay, yes — I am by myself today. A table for one, please.”

His nervous smile returned. He’d probably decided I was a nutter. Whichever he settled on, he was probably right.

Alone vs. By Myself: The Distinction That Matters

Looking around the restaurant once seated, I noticed I wasn’t in unusual company. Several of us were dining solo — each enjoying our own company, but not alone. Not really.

The distinction is almost too fine to put into words, but as a solo traveller, you’ll understand it immediately. Doing everything by yourself doesn’t mean you’re desperate for company. It means you’re free of the obligation of it.

Meeting like-minded souls along the way is a genuine pleasure — speaking your native tongue when the occasion calls for it is a relief. But constantly travelling with someone else? You’d miss the whole point. There is absolutely no reason to go halfway around the world only to sit with a fellow countryperson complaining about the NHS. I’ve spent serious time, money, and soul-searching to escape that baggage. Leave it where it was left.

This Is My Time. Emphasis On The Me.

Part of the joy of escaping the matrix is the freedom to go where you want, when you want, and with whoever you want. Selfish? Damn right.

Think about it. From the moment we arrived in the world, someone else has been deciding where we need to be and for how long. Parents. Teachers. Bosses.

School, anyone?

Let’s be honest about what the school system was really doing — training us to be obedient, productive cogs in a machine that generated far more profit for faceless bosses than it ever paid back to us. A touch dramatic, yes. Also true.

And so, after decades of meetings, “team building” exercises, and office politics, this is the retirement fix. No more calendar invites. No more inbox dread. No more commute.

The Warm Sea Antidote

One of the things that brings me the most joy — and I say this with complete sincerity — is blobbing on my back in warm sea water, staring up at the sky, and whispering to myself: “Wish I was back at the office right now.”

The uncontrollable laughter that follows is a cure for most ills. To any onlookers, it may be a cause for concern regarding my stability. Let them stare.

The ability to chill without watching the clock, without a phone ringing, without an email landing with bad news — that’s priceless. You can’t put a number on it. It’s simply what quality of life is all about.

Yes, There Are Trade-offs. Worth It Anyway.

Solo travel isn’t all floating in warm seas and laughing to yourself. There are trade-offs. Some moments are harder without someone to share them with. There are logistical things to sort that a travelling companion might normally handle.

But here’s the thing — those trade-offs are far outweighed by that one essential thing everyone is quietly searching for: the freedom to be yourself, and do your own thing, as the mood takes you.

Moving toward a beach-style life, with the ability to explore on a whim, was the stuff office daydreams were made of. And now? It’s just Tuesday.

So. Are You Alone?

If anyone asks — no, I’m not alone.

Just by myself.

And if that concept puzzles someone, that’s okay too. It took me a while to truly own it. But once you do — once you’ve felt the warm water, the quiet table for one, the freedom of an unplanned Tuesday — you’ll understand exactly what I mean.

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Stay well. Stay safe. And go find your warm sea.